Monday, 19 April 2021 | Dr Sona Kaushal Gupta
Fear is an emotion induced by perceived danger or threat, which causes physiological changes and ultimately behavioral changes.
At the basic level fear guides our fight or flight responses and helps to keep us safe and alive. However, fear may also hold you back from doing something positive.
Fear in moderation can be a good friend for us however there is a negative side to it too.
Fear makes us avoid all risks and cannot differentiate between the good and bad challenges. Uncertainty, attention, change and struggle have been seen to trigger fear. These triggers for fear are excellent for avoiding danger but not good for learning and growth. We build a scary story in our mind of events which we feel will happen or may happen and its just our imagination which creates the fear in us. None of us can bring back the past and none can tell what will happen the next moment but we can all enjoy our present moment. Being in the present a skill each one of us needs to learn. Memory of past failures and negative imaginations of the future terrorise people. These thought patterns can be easily changed with conscious effort and self awareness. All our fears are rooted in our subconscious mind along with all our memories, beliefs and habits. Fear lowers our emotional quotient and our decreases our Immunity. So we have to choose whether to live a fearless life or to live a fearful life.
Fear paralyses our thoughts, memory and decision making skills and we cannot think or decide logically and rationally when we are in fear. It affects our learning and decreases our work performance. So it is important that we learn to let go of our past memories and take care of what we read, hear and see everyday and what company we keep because this information constitutes our emotional diet.
Fearless living comes from our faith and understanding who we actually are and that we cannot lose anything authentically. It also comes from an understanding that everything around me or to me happens for a purpose and learning what the situation teaches us. And last but not the least it comes from knowledge that every situation is an opportunity for one to learn, improvise and use ones hidden potential.The subconscious mind decides 96 per cent of our life and is a mechanised mind with no creativity.It is programmed with our habits, beliefs and past memories—and therefore we react in a programmed automatic away to any situation which confronts us. Since fear is programmed and wired in our subconscious we feel fearful.
The conscious logical mind works only four per cent for us. It is analytical, rational and works on the feedback from our conscious senses- what I see hear, smell or taste is my conscious mind. It creates logical thoughts and seeks an opportunity from the situation. Conscious mind needs our awareness and alertness to be sharp. Meditation helps in doing this—it is the healthy nutrition for the mind. Spirituality is the study of the soul energy and source of life and also awakens our conscious mind and also helps awaken the conscious mind. A fearless soul thinks, feels and behaves fearlessly and we have to sharpen our conscious mind for this. It is the need of the hour. Parents need to learn meditation and teach it to their children from an early age. Schools need to teach this in their curriculum too.
After surveying over 60,000 adults, author Ruth Soukup and a team of researchers and psychologists found that the type of fear that holds us back in life manifests itself in seven different ways. It’s what she refers to as the “fear archetypes”. These are the procrastinator, the rule follower, the people pleaser, the outcast, the self-doubter, the excuse maker and the pessimist.
We can all probably find ourself in one or more of these categories and by identifying what holds us back, one can improvise and make the necessary changes to overcome the fears.
The procrastinators are preoccupied about the outcome of what they have to do and keep researching to do it better instead of just starting and doing it. Sometimes they don’t even start doing it and keep on postponing it till they feel they have found the best way to do it.They have a fear of starting and should overcome it and just start. The rule followers
are obsessed about following the exact rules and guidelines set by those around. They’re stressed about always trying to make the right decision, even if it has an adverse effect on their progress. We can overcome this by acknowledging the fact that we are all human beings and it’s okay to make mistakes. We have to learn to be in self esteem and be self-compassionate and work on our own set of principles instead of following others or outside factors. The people pleasers live in constant fear of being judged by others or disappointing others. They are not assertive enough to set clear boundaries for themselves or say no. To improve such people should learn to prioritise their needs and themselves.
The outcast archetype may appear to be bold and fearless on the outside, but inside of them they have the biggest fear of rejection. Therefore, they often try to reject others first to avoid being hurt. To reject their fears such people should learn to trust others and believe in themselves. The self-doubter
feels they are just not up to the mark. They are pressurised by the fear that they are not good enough and feel insecure. Sometimes they camouflage their fears and start to judge others. They are very hard workers and work relentlessly to overcome their fears and prove that they are good enough. A good way to overcome self-doubt is to step outside of your comfort zone every once in a while—and take note of the outcome. The excuse makers
have difficulty taking responsibility for their life choices and goals.They avoid accountability and allow others to make decisions in their own lives. They should try setting small daily goals and achieving them.
The pessimist archetype struggles with the fear of adversity hurt and hardship. Due to a past or current trauma or difficulties, those who are the pessimist archetype often feel victimised—and sometimes rightly so. They must learn to look at hardships as challenges or stepping stones or lessons, instead of roadblocks.
Whenever something tough gets into our way we should take a step back, evaluate the situation and try to see what lesson it is teaching us and this will definitely make the outcome more favourable for us. Overcoming fear is done through action. If we know our fears and their root cause we can easily find ways to overcome them. Throwing a light on our fears makes them less scary. Covid has come with a lesson for us. We should relinquish all our fears about it. They just make us emotionally weak and now is the time for us to be strong and wise and take all preventive measures to keep Covid at bay.
(The author is a neuro psychologist & founder of a crisis helpline)
