Monday, 14 November 2022 | Pooja Poddar Marwah
GUEST COLUMN
Pooja Poddar Marwah
There is no scientific origination that renders a person invisible. There is no mystic intervention that suddenly occurs and makes you, the woman no one can see. But there is something that slowly and steadily creeps into your life and rips you off your visibility, layer by layer. And that is silence. It is words like adjustment, compromise and quietude that slowly push you to the back bench and then out of the room. I am not high on feminism and women’s liberation etc. But I strongly propagate equality. Man and woman are born free and equal. And this credence is one that women, especially in our country, need to believe. We are wired differently but we need men as much as they need us. And realising this is what makes the world of a difference.
The best part of being a woman is that we can have it all, should we so desire. The cake, the baker, the cherry and the icing! So, what is it that stops us in our tracks? Why is it that we shy away from claiming what is ours to have? Each of us have been raised differently and are at varied places in life. There are choices that we may have made or perhaps been told to make. Either way, it is a life that we have been given and it is upto us to make the most of it. Women make a home. With a lot of pride, I can say that it is in our love and care that a brick and cement structure becomes a place of solace and joy. So, what could possibly be the reason that we undermine ourselves at the first instance? Why do we feel that we are a transparent piece of glass that everyone looks through, when our “duty” is over?
There is no reason to first serve the man and then eat. A family that eats together stays together. Children are the core of our hearts, but the heart also has other desires and as a woman it is imperative to have them. Imagine the world you can give your children, when you teach them the fun of following their passions. They will learn what they see, not what you say. Are you letting yourself conform to a version that will suit an a, b, c and d? Because there is no one way to please them all.
Are you willing to change and become a mute spectator, just so you can “buy peace” and keep the home secure? Because, the house will be fine but without your smile and twinkle, it will just be a house not a home. Are you letting the whole world tell you to sit one way, talk another way, walk this way, sleep that way etc etc? Because, no matter how much you try and toe the line there will always be something that pushes that line further.
The idea of writing this is not to undermine any woman but to give her a whole new perspective in seeing herself. Sometimes, all we really need is a hand to show us a newer way to take the same path. If I were to give one thought, for you to ponder upon, it would be – do not suffer in silence. For what you allow, is what you will get. You have to tune your mind to focus on your belief in yourself. Your choices matter. Your opinions count. Your words have meaning. There is something very attractive about a confident woman so unleash that gorgeousness and be the woman you have always wanted to be. Being invisible is a choice. Do not take it.
(The writer is an award winning author and blogger who writes on life, relationships and contemporary living. Views expressed are personal)
