GUEST COLUMN
Dr Sona Kaushal Gupta
Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love, to work, to play, and to look up at the stars – Henry Van Dyke
Six young lives were recently lost in a tragic road accident in Dehradun. They had gone for a party and were speed driving late night and crashed into a container trying to overtake another vehicle. The rise in accidents due to speed driving among youths is a pressing concern today. The rise is drug abuse and alcohol consumption in the youth is also a major concern. Who is responsible for this and how can it be curbed? Let us understand a few basic reasons about this.
There can be many contributing factors to such cases like risk-taking behaviour of young people who often underestimate risks and overestimate their driving abilities. Peer pressure can also lead to reckless behaviour like overspeeding and drug abuse for showing off. Limited driving experience affects decision-making and reaction time in emergencies. The popular media also influences vulnerable minds. Movies, video games, and social media often glorify speed driving, smoking, alcohol, drugs, making them appear exciting and risk-free. Some youth ape such behaviour they see on the screens. Substance abuse has a major impact. It results in impaired judgment due to drinking or drug use which increases the likelihood of accidents. Apart from this, the use of mobile phones for texting, calling, talking, loud music or social media use while driving is a leading cause of distraction. Many young drivers do not fully grasp traffic rules or the consequences of speeding. Further, the easy access to powerful cars and bikes encourages youth to test speed limits.
One needs to promote safe driving campaigns. There is the need to use schools, colleges, and media to educate youth about the risks of speeding and other risky behaviour and their consequences. Sensitising the youth from an early age about the consequences and preventive measures must be taken as a must as it also helps in shaping a child’s behaviour. Such efforts should involve experienced people like psychologists, doctors, lawyers and police to talk to the youngsters. Educators should regularly talk of such issues and safety measures in their classes emphasising the need for safety in all spheres of life.
One must share real-life stories of accidents to emphasise the dangers.You can also use the print and the visual media for this. Stricter law enforcement is also vital and strict adherence to speed limits through fines and penaltiesmust also be ensured. The authorities must impose severe consequences for driving under the influence. Positive behaviour must be reinforced with rewards. Further, parents and educators must consistently emphasise the value of safety over thrill. Teaching youth emotional resilience and self-control can reduce impulsive decisions while driving. Addressing speed driving among youth requires a multi-faceted approach involving education, enforcement, and community support to ensure safer roads for all. But parental involvement is paramount.
The role of parents as ideal role models for their children is the most important factor which should be discussed in the present times. What is the role of the parents today? Parenting has taken a 360 degrees turn today. It has newer skills with different techniques which parents should learn and apply to their children. It is totally different from what it was some years ago. We cannot and should not parent our children the way we were parented. A major reason of this change in parenting is because of the dramatic invasion of the social media and mobiles into our lives. Today parents need to be more vigilant and aware about the content their children are consuming from the social media and for how long are they hooked on to it. This means they should set stricter boundaries at home. The parents should know how long the child is on social media, what is he or she consuming from it, the persons they are chatting with and when they return home at night. They should also be encouraged to say no to alcohol, smoking and drug abuse and the parents should make the home a ‘no anger zone’. Parents need to communicate freely with their children, have a healthy bonding of respect and love with them, involve them in the boundary setting sessions so that the children should always feel loved in high self esteem and supported by their parents. All this should be age appropriate which means these rules are different for a pre teens a teenagers and a young adults. The earlier in life the parents start to set healthy boundaries for their children the better they will learn.
Parents must be role models for their children which means they should practice what they preach to their children. Remember that children learn by observing their parents more than by listening to them. The parents should drive safe not smoke or drink have no anger issues etc if they wish this from their children. Sadly it’s not being followed in most houses today because the parents are confused and unaware of the new ways of parenting. I recommend and follow the empowered parents parenting technique which is highly effective. In this technique the parents are first empowered to improve themselves and work on their childhood experiences limiting beliefs and expectations. Then we empower them with the newer parenting skills and tools needed today and such empowered parents do a much better job in their parenting journey .
The parents today are confused about their parenting skills. As I mentioned above, this is because they lack awareness and proper knowledge and also because most of them are very busy pursuing their own dreams and agendas. Therefore they hardly find time for their children and to cover up their guilt they shower them with expensive gifts like cars mobiles money etc. They do not tell the children what to do, what not to do or the difference between the reel virtual world of social media and the real world we live in. Some Parents are busy following their own dreams and ambitions. Some are busy earning a livelihood. Children from such backgrounds of lack of parental guidance end up succumbing to peer pressure and mal-adaptive coping and abuse. They smoke, take drugs, over speed and show other Risky behaviors because they want to show off and many have low self esteem.
Parents need to wake up to reality. Your children should be your priority and you are primarily responsible for their mental social psychologigal well-being. Become empowered parents first and learn newer parenting skills and give quality time advice and guidance to your children before it gets too late and tragedy strikes again.
Remember -a precious life lost is a lifelong trauma for the whole family and a great loss to the society.
(The author is a neuro psychologist, founder of a crisis helpline and designated CBSE counsellor. Views expressed are personal)
