GUEST COLUMN
Dr Sona Kaushal Gupta
I get a call from a class XI student Neha saying she is feeling very low emotionally and about to end her life. I try to buy time by keeping her engaged in the conversation. I ask her the reason for feeling low and she says that her parents keep fighting and her mother blames her for it. Her mother wants her to score very good marks and take science but she has not opted for science because she does not like the subjects. She says she feels she has disappointed her parents and doesn’t wish to live anymore.
A very common experience with youth today is that they are not able to cope up with the adversities which they face in life. Parental expectations are a big stressor for children along with their own expectations of how their life should be. Peer pressure and social media also add fuel to the fire. This often leads them into low self-esteem and this may lead to depression if this is not addressed efficiently as a crisis. A person in such a situation may contemplate suicide as the only way out of the crisis. It’s a maladaptive coping strategy. Many resort to drug abuse and waste their lives.
I listened to Neha’s story which was cathartic for her. She felt empowered to feel that she is doing the right thing by following her dreams and taking her own. I knew I had to teach her methods to deal with the toxic parents. She felt better and I heaved a sigh of relief but I knew she was a high risk case for suicide and I made her promise to take further sessions with me. In the next part of the counselling session I had to talk to her parents and show them how their toxicity was hurting their child. I had to teach them to heal their own inner traumas so that their children do not suffer. Neha was lucky as she got professional help in time and this saved her life. Many cases are not so lucky and many youth just end their life. Many post their story in videos before doing so. It’s very traumatic for the family to see such videos afterwards wishing they could have had timely professional help.
According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), globally, more than 7,20,000 people die by suicide every year. Effective and evidence-based interventions can be implemented at population and individual levels to prevent suicide. There are indications that for each adult who died by suicide there may have been more than 20 others attempting suicide. It is the third leading cause of death among 15–29-year-olds. Seventy-three per cent of global suicides occur in low- and middle-income countries. The reasons for suicide are multi-faceted, influenced by social, cultural, biological, psychological and environmental factors present across the life-course. A prior suicide attempt is an important risk factor for suicide in the general population.
Risk factors for suicide also include mental disorders (particularly depression and alcohol use disorders). Many suicides are committed impulsively when people are not able to cope and breakdown in their inability to deal with life stresses, such as financial problems, relationship break-up chronic pain illness failure in exams abuse violence or sense of isolation.
It is also important to watch out for the warning signs of suicide. There is cause for concern when someone is talking about wanting to die, great guilt or shame or being a burden to others. It is also alarming if someone is feeling empty, hopeless, trapped, or having no reason to live; extremely sad, more anxious, agitated, or full of rage; unbearable emotional or physical pain. Further, changing behaviour like making a plan or researching ways to die, withdrawing from friends, saying goodbye, giving away important items, or making a will, taking dangerous risks such as driving extremely fast, displaying extreme mood swings, eating or sleeping more or less and using drugs or alcohol more often should also set the alarm bells ringing.
However, awareness and timely intervention can save many a life. To prevent suicide, one must strengthen economic supports and build financial security, create protective environments which have reduced access to lethal arms and means in high risk persons and create a healthy culture with no substance abuse. One must improve access and delivery of suicide care -have Helplines and professional help easily accessible. It is also important to promote healthy connections -make friends, meet people and do not stay addicted to your mobile phones and the virtual world. One must teach coping and problem-solving skills along with parenting skills to improve family relationships. Teach resilience and emotional wellness through education programmes.
Here one must also stress on the importance of early intervention. It is important to increase awareness and services so that when a young person begins struggling with mental health issues, they know where to go for help. We have to treat mental health conditions in young people before they reach levels of crisis. To increase services, we have to talk about how to incentivise people to be aware and take therapy as early as possible. We have to reduce barriers and stigma to provide mental health support. And we have to empower and support peer specialists and school psychologists/social workers to be aware and supportive. If we want more services, we have to invest in the people doctors and other mental health experts who provide them. It is also important to increase preventive measures as it is common knowledge that prevention is better than cure. When it comes to our physical health, we often emphasise preventative care as the first line of defence against disease. We make conscious choices to exercise regularly, follow a balanced diet, and ensure we get adequate sleep to reduce the risk of chronic illnesses like cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and obesity. This proactive approach helps us stay healthy, avoid long-term complications, and lead more energetic lives. But what we often forget is that mental health also deserves the same level of proactive care and attention. Just like our bodies, our minds thrive when we nurture them consistently — not just when something goes wrong. Taking care of our mind is not a luxury, but a necessity — just like eating well or exercising. Mental health prevention is the key to a happier, healthier and more balanced life. There are several preventative measures we can adopt to protect and strengthen our mental health. Practicing mindfulness helps us stay grounded in the present moment, reducing stress and anxiety. It trains the brain to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. Simple techniques like deep breathing, box breathing, or diaphragmatic breathing can calm the nervous system, lower blood pressure and ease emotional distress.
Cognitive techniques such as reframing negative thoughts, practicing gratitude, and self-compassion help break cycles of worry, fear and self-criticism. Having strong social connections — friends, family, mentors, and communities — acts as a powerful buffer against stress, loneliness and depression. Setting boundaries and allowing time for rest, hobbies and play is essential for preventing burnout and maintaining mental energy. Just as we go for health check-ups, self-reflection or occasional sessions with a counsellor can help us process emotions and detect issues early. Exercise, proper nutrition, and quality sleep benefit mental health by regulating mood, improving focus, and boosting overall resilience. By consistently practicing these strategies, we create a kind of mental immunity — a strong psychological foundation that helps us cope better with life’s inevitable challenges, recover faster from setbacks and experience greater well-being. We need to show up for our young people- asking them how they’re really doing, reminding them it’s okay to not be okay, assuring them they are not alone and helping to connect them to resources.
(The author is a neuropsychologist, founder of a crisis helpline and designated CBSE counsellor. Views expressed are personal)
